Tried & [NOT] Tested

Over the years, in my ‘QUEST’ to lose weight, I have heard [and been scandalized] about many methods and ‘quick fixes’ to achieving weight loss goals. Some of them did make some sense, others I actually tried (I may just own up and tell you what I have tried…you may be shocked), and the rest had me running for the hills!

So as I blog about weight loss (and still try to lose some weight) I thought it would be fun to look at the weight loss options out there. Each of these may or may not work for you, but at least you will have some fun learning about what people like you and I are getting up to.

So here there they are… my top list of [some crazy] ways we try to lose weight the world over. Wanna guess which I have tried?

Tapeworm Diet

You can say it out load…’ewwwwuuu’! I said the same thing when I heard about this weight loss trick last year!

This diet propagates eating tapeworms (they actually have tapeworm eggs in capsules), thereby letting the worms chew on the carb or excess food content, making you lose weight. But I have to ask, does the end justify the means? These creepy, wriggly, maybe slimy creatures will crawl around in my/your tummy laying millions of eggs….(give me a minute to close my eyes and shudder in distaste).

…Okay, I’m back. One last word if this track seems attractive to you… tapeworms can lead to loss of nutrients and vitamins in your body. You CAN get REALLY sick.

Lose Weight by Having Sex

Interesting….yea?

According to researchers sex is a one of the craziest way to lose weight. Check this…the average sex session burns 150 to 250 calories per half hour, depending on how athletic your sex tends to be. Really?

I read somewhere that it’s a commonly known fact (although my mom never told me this) that sex is a very good workout, even if you aren’t extremely acrobatic, as sex naturally gets your heart rate up, which in turn improves circulation and burns calories and fat.

When I read further (YES, I did do further textbook research… wouldn’t you?), I read that by practicing positions other than just missionary, we are also engaging different muscle groups, so it can be both a cardio and toning exercise…not to mention doing wonders for your overall flexibility (They say!). The best thing about it, that there is absolutely no energy or equipment necessary, except your own.

Does this work? You tell me… 

Lose Weight with Laughter

In a study on 45 adults (rather small sample, wouldn’t you say?) American scientists have claimed that a good laugh makes a first class diet! These Next Gen researchers sustained (for 10 – 15 minutes) strong laughter daily can up your energy consumption (kind of like mimicking energy guzzling exercise) by 10 to 40 calories per day. Note people! 40 calories is equivalent to two cups aka handfuls of cabbage! This fact alone may induce a weight loss of 0.5kg to 2 kg annually! At this rate I’ll shake off my extra 40kg in …20 years! I had a real belly laugh with this one.

Seriously though, laughter really may be the best a good medicine to try. As it is claimed to calm the nerves, improve the immune system, and break the ice, AND it also burns calories.

Lose Weight by Smoking

I heard about this weight loss trick sometime in 2004, and have to admit that I was [briefly] tempted to try it. Anyway, when I remembered the statement that ‘smokers are liable to die young’ I gave up that idea in a hurry!

Having said that, some people [I know] smoke to suppress their appetite. Nicotine is believed to both curb appetite and increase the rate of metabolism. When metabolism increases, more energy is used to perform bodily functions. I have not been able to find any scientific research to support these claims (if you do please send it to me).

But a quick caution: smoking may seem to be quick win, BUT the habit has been associated with various malignancies, such as cancer, heart disease, stroke and diabetes. I’ll stick to laughter, thank you very much!

Lose Weight with Hypnotism

I had the privilege (?) of watching the British hypnotist/mentalist Darren Brown a few years ago. I came off from that experience frankly disturbed, mainly because I did not understand how it worked or the power the hypnotist has over the subject.

That being said, people who go for this option leave not having lost any weight immediately, what they do is try to condition their minds to change long term behavior. Researchers have said that people who try to lose weight with hypnosis may lose a few pounds, BUT only IF done with a combination of diet and exercise. So just hypnosis alone does not work; but it’s a free world…if it floats your boat, go for it!

Using Abdominal-belts

Slimming down without exercising or eating healthy proves nearly impossible. You can attempt temporary weight loss around the waist, though, with a massage slim belt. A massaging slimming belt claims to help you shed excess water weight, at least briefly, by causing first vibrating the fat stores in your abdominal region, and secondly using heat to cause you to sweat around the middle (Or so the lady I got mine from promised). These popular belts run on batteries, and you can set the belt at different strengths. These belts are touted to be easy-to-use solutions to weight loss, BUT do they work? I don’t think so! I tried this a few years back, and all that shrunk was my wallet.

Bariatric Surgery

I know I said I would give you ten ways to lose weight, but this list will not be complete without the surgery option (aka bariatric surgery). This option is becoming increasingly popular with celebrities like Star Jones, Al Rocker, even the current governor of New Jersey Chris Christie going for this option.

This extreme method of weight loss is NOT a miracle pill; it only assists the patient with weight loss over time, and is not for the faint of heart. And it’s only currently available for people with BMI (body mass index) of 40 and above. If you are unsure of your BMI, you can use the cool widget at the bottom of the blog page to calculate yours.

Weight loss surgery comes in various guises, but I am familiar with the gastric balloon (reversible procedure), gastric sleeve (not reversible), adjustable band (reversible procedure), gastric bypass (not reversible) etc. If you are interested in this you can read more about the surgical options to weight loss here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bariatric_surgery BUT most importantly ask your doctor if you are eligible.

Using Slimming Creams

They say the truth will set you free, so I will confess that I have bought and used a product (which will remain unnamed) touted to shrink girth and dissolve cellulite. Did it work, you ask. Well…NO!

I am not alone in this; researchers say that British women spend up to £30m a year on such products that are claimed to be the ultimate solutions to weight loss. But medically speaking, there is no evidence to prove the benefits of these creams. All they can do is give you an illusion of tighter and smoother skin, and to some extent appear to reduce cellulite.

Although sold as miracle creams, slimming creams cannot spot train your body. Only cardio and strength exercises, when worked together on a regular basis can help with healthy weight loss.

Lose Weight by Plastic Wrap

Be truthful...the picture kind of cracks you up, right?? I hear that this is popular with brides, who need emergency fixes to get into that special dress. What you do is you wrap your body parts eg thighs in the plastic wrap (many people use cling film) for a protracted period of time causing you to sweat out water weight and give you an illusion of loss of just an inch or two in the wrapped body part. But be careful, wrap up for too long and you run the risk excessive fluid loss, and endanger your health (dehydration etc). In addition, another concern is the fact that many of the plastic wraps (including some cling film) are made from Polyvinyl chloride (PVC), which has been claimed to be a dangerous consumer product. Although a well-known spa in my city offers this therapy I have not tried it (yet), but please buyer beware!

The Dream Diet

Go to SLEEP. Yes, you read correctly. Sleep more…and lose weight. My first thought when I heard about this was ‘Right! If this were true, I’d be a size ZERO!’ But reading more about this, I think we should not knock it at least just yet. I got this from the Mayo clinic website, and they claim that research suggests that the quality of sleep you get each day affects your weight loss/gain! When I read this I immediately remembered by battle with insomnia.

To quote the Doc -have you ever experienced a sleepless night followed by a day when no matter what you ate, you never felt full/satisfied? If so, you have experienced the workings of a couple hormones that affect behavior, sleep and eating patterns. From what I gathered, to improve your feeling of fullness and manage your eating, get more restful sleep - it's all about QUALITY of sleep.

I don't really understand the science, but the 'get more sleep' bit kind of makes sense to me. I am sure going to look for innovative ways to get my recommended 8 hours of shut eye daily! 

Wire Jaw/Teeth Shut

I have some friends who have honestly gotten massive results from this, but I’ve always been too chicken to try it out. Take away my ability to talk, and you might as well lock me up in a nut house.

Wiki How explains this process as ‘wiring your jaw closed, forcing you to adhere to a liquid diet, which ultimately will allow you to lose weight’ over time. Jaw wiring is a simple dental procedure and is sometimes recommended by a doctor for patients that are morbidly obese.

The goal of jaw wiring is to inhibit the intake of solid foods, dramatically decreasing the amount of calories one can consume. By wiring the jaw, you are unable to chew and essentially getting all of your nutrients from a liquid diet. When I say liquid diet, I mean shakes, soups, gruel, broth etc. Are you GAME?

NOTE: Please don't go off any try ANY of these 

without checking with your Doctor FIRST

What have YOU tried in your bid to get rid of your muffin tops and love handles? Is it on the list? Please let me know…

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