Out of the Closet

I think one of the most important skills to learn if you are heavy is how to dress- at least in my humble opinion. You need to know how to put yourself and your jiggly bits together pleasantly and in a way that does not compromise your hard won confidence. One big lady that inspires me is Mellisa McCathy (pictured), she is always so well put together!

Anyway, I am going to take a stab at this topic and come out of the closet so to say (I’ll be sharing some of my own personal tips for dressing while PHAT aka Pretty Hot And Thick) J

BUILD

Every good building starts from the foundation, the same should be said for your dressing.

Ground Zero for dressing while PHAT is investing in well-fitting underwear; I’m talking brassieres, panties, girdles (although I personally don’t like these, but if it works for you – go for it) etc.

Well-fitting Brassieres will help lift what needs to defy gravity, support your figure thus helping you look younger and perkier; help save you from back aches and help support your posture!

Do you know your real bra size? Some of us pick the most foundational piece by trial and error. I’ll put a quick guide to help you know your bra size at the end of this post. Please invest some time and get this right!

Forget granny panties; give low-legged, high-waisted underwear in a firm supportive fabric. From experience I know that M&S stocks excellent options for the fuller figured woman.

Coverage! Coverage! Coverage!

Be 100% sure you have/achieve sufficient coverage both on top, down and in between! The aim of being well put together is lost if your jiggly bits are left...jiggling all over the place! Underwear that’s too small is not underwear you should spend your hard earned money on! And because it’s on sale doesn’t mean you should buy it! Don’t forget money spent on underwear is an investment in you!

If you know you carry a few extra pounds, when you think underwear, always think control panties. I love them, they nip and tuck as good as any doctors scalpel. And they are not all granny panties – if you look around you will find really sexy designs for full figured women aka you and me!

The benefits of control underwear only have to be seen to be appreciated! 

 

See?

KNOW YOUR BODY

Shakespeare famously said (at least I think it was Shakespeare) “to thine ownself be true” – this is also relevant in dressing well! I know I have a hint of a muffin top and the beginnings of bat wings, so you will never catch me in a tight sleeveless top that lets it all hang loose. I don’t care how comfortable the outfit is supposed to be, I just won’t do it  - because I know my body.

Become acquainted with your problem areas and use colors, design cuts, patterns etc to take attention OFF those not so good areas and emphasize the good points. Don’t fret, everyone has bad areas AND everyone also has good area eg fabulous well-toned legs, the elusive hour glass figure (yes even big gals have the elusive 8 curve) etc. A few pointers:

Dark colors hide while light colors highlight. So if you want to highlight your good areas like your waist, you can wear a light colored belt over a dark bottom or top. On the other hand, if you want to de-emphasize your thighs, wear dark colored bottoms over light colored tops (shhh….but this is actually my default dress mode because I kind of have thunder thighsJ).

Big patterns make you look bigger, while smaller patterns help shrink you. This is particularly applicable when choosing your African fabrics. I try to mix and match big patterns with plain fabrics in dark colors to balance everything out – that and my tailor is a miracle worker! Whatever you do, please don't do a Madea and come out in this...it does NOT work! 

I’ve noticed that I look trim and nice in red, so I gravitate to this color when I need to wear something colorful, then I stay away from bright yellow which always makes me look like a UFO. So I will recommend that you know which colors flatter you – flattering colors can make you glow plus give you the needed confidence boost, while the wrong color can leave you looking pale and washed out. Let’s avoid that as much as we can.

Where do you carry your bulk? I carry mine mostly in my legs and hips so I generally would avoid:

• Tight skirts and trousers
• Formless and shapeless garments – (I wore one of these once and my friend said I looked like four bags of rice stacked two by two!) – they only make you look BIGGER!
• Clothes that synch at the hips, I believe they draw too much attention to my hips and thighs
• Skinny jeans… did I mention that I also have K legs…? This plus the thighs…mmm…God is good!

 

If you are heavy on top, I hope these tips help:

• Choose shaped T-Shirts and dresses over straight T’s
• Give your spaghetti and halter tops a miss. If you really love them and can’t do without them, then please do something to cover your bra straps which will be wide (if you are heavily endowed)
• Try ¾ sleeves – I don’t know why or how but they seem to shrink your entire silhouette
• Now the biggie! Please your button down shirts should fit across your bust and stomach and not gape, aka that telltale pulling of the fabric across your bust line that screams ‘this shirt is too small for me!’. To help why not invest in a minimizer bra (I got mine from M&S).

   

  

My own personal rules of thumb for dressing include:

• Just because an outfit is made in my size does not mean that I have to wear it!
• You are already big, your jewelry should be the only bling on your person – you don’t need extra bling from a blinding outfit! That jazzy applique blinking from your hips are singing "♪♪♪see them hips♪♪” "♪♪♪see them hips♪♪” "♪♪♪see them hips♪♪”
• Big tents are just that – big tents. Those big shapeless clothes you hide behind actually emphasize your bigness. So ditch them already!
• Hating mirrors does not do me any good – I try use mirrors to my advantage. Before leaving home I look myself critically in a mirror and I ask myself if my problem areas are de-emphasized, and the good areas highlighted. Then because I work in a corporate environment, I always ask “Liz, if your boss says you should accompany him for a meeting with the Central Bank of Nigeria Governor, will what you are wearing pass muster?”

Dressing is about the whole package – the dress, the smell, the jewelry, the shoes, the purse etc – it all points to a well put together you & me – irrespective of our individual sizes. So, work that combination and come our confident and in style.

This has been a long one…but I hope it has been of value to you and given someone confidence that irrespective of your size you can be every bit is gorgeously put together as any runway model (giggle).

I am certain everyone has rules they follow when dressing, do you mind sharing so the DROP IT community can learn from you? Thanks! And if you have questions, feel free to pop them in the comment box below – we (the DROP IT community) are a mine of information and are happy to help.

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